Dear God, i want to praise you for all the things you have given me in my life so far. Thank you for my God fearing parents that have done their best in raising me. Thank you for friends that support me and that are always there for me when i need them. Thank you so much Lord! I pray that you reminde me every day to thank you for all my blessings. Amen!

Dear God,

I wish i had a late night txting buddy :(

I just want to go home

I'm so done for tonight

I'm txting to make it look like i'm doing something

I don't want to be here. I want to go to bed.

Fuck i wanna go home

Fuck i don't want to be here

Fuck i feel good, i'm drunk as fuck

Gardettos serving size 1.5 cups. 150 cal. Total fat 6g. Total carb 20g. Dietary fiber 1g. Sugar 1g. Protein 3g. Saturated fat 1g. Trans fat 1g. Sodium 270mg. Cal from fat 60.

Today at work sucked so bad. My boss is a good person, but she sucks at a boss. She never does anything. When i work with her, its likei'm working by myself.

My boss said that i'm loosing weight :)

I feel like i only feel happy when i'm high.

I feel like i want to die today :/

The part few days i've been feeling so happy, but now i feel so depressed. I have on idea why. Fuck. Maybe i'm bipolar :/

I think I might be bipolar...

Today was so much different then the past two days. Today I wasn't sad at all!!


It was a pretty good day. I didn't have to go to work, so all I did was chill out in front of the TV. I didn't even eat! I had ice water. For dinner I had steamed broccoli with a little butter and salt with cheese on top.  I know the condiments add calories, but I decided to reward myself because of the lack of food throughout the day.


:)


yay!


-Krystal

I'm feeling a little better today. Less suicidal. :)

Thats Fit Tweets

Thats Fit Tweets

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Thats Fit Tweets

Thats Fit Tweets

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Today started out well....

But of coarse, all good things come to an end.  I had a really productive day at work. My boss and I got along and she surprisingly didn’t get on my nerves.  My dad picked me up in the jeep he just finished fixing with both my brother and sister.  So on the way home, my sister was being her bitchy self, (as always!) and was just pissing me off when she was answering the questions I was asking my brother. I look at my phone and I notice I missed a call from my mom. I listend to the voicemail and she’s bitching to me about not picking up my phone and how she doesn’t want my brother to become like me and shit.

I became instantly pissed! He doesn’t know about any of the stuff I do! He might have a suspicion of the cigarettes, but that’s it. She doesn’t even know about the other stuff I do.  I fucking hate her! Even if I did tell her, she wouldn’t understand and would probably just kick me out or something.

She makes me so upset that I decided to cut. I know its bad, but I just feel so emotionally beat up. Its like she loves making me feel like shit. WELL FUCK HER!!!!!!!

I want to just die so bad. I hate being on this planet. I hate all the bull shit that’s in this world.

Let me know what you think.

-Krystal

I like how i work all day and then i'm expected to come home and clean the house, while my mother sits on her ass all day.

I want to die. I hate being here.

Just to let your know....

Ok, so I just want to start of saying that I really do hate people that bitch about every single thing in they’re life. Its depressing and just brings everyone down. I never do that in real life. But that’s why I decided to start a blog. I’ve had one before on a different site, but shit went down that wasn’t pretty.

I think the main reason I need to vent is because my family is filled with ass holes. I’m 21 and I still live at home. I have no car, a shitty job, and friends that I can’t really be totally honest with.

I think I’m sick though. Mentally, that is. I have past issues with anorexia, bulimia, and self injury. Because of the eating disorders, I still don’t have a good relationship with food. I’m pretty much over it, but I still have my moments. I’m seriously think I’m going to relapse. I’ve gained so much weight, its not even funny. I try to deal with all the bull shit in my life now with cigarettes, drinking, promiscuity, and marijuana. The only thing that still really bugs me is the promiscuity. I was saving myself for marriage, but now I have a, “what the hell, I don’t give a fuck.” attitude.

Let me know if you can relate. I think it would really help if I knew I wasn’t alone.

-Krystal

P.S. Krystal is and alias name. My real name won’t be posted publicly for personal reasons.